Reduce Stress With Positive Thinking

Positive thinking helps with stress management and can even improve your health. Practice overcoming negative self-talk with examples provided.

Is your glass half-empty or half-full? How you answer this age-old question about positive thinking may reflect your outlook on life, your attitude toward yourself, and whether you're optimistic or pessimistic — and it may even affect your health.

Indeed, some studies show that personality traits like optimism and pessimism can affect many areas of your health and well-being. The positive thinking that typically comes with optimism is a key part of effective stress management. And effective stress management is associated with many health benefits. If you tend to be pessimistic, don't despair — you can learn positive thinking skills.

Understanding positive thinking and self-talk

Positive thinking doesn't mean that you keep your head in the sand and ignore life's less pleasant situations. Positive thinking just means that you approach unpleasantness in a more positive and productive way. You think the best is going to happen, not the worst.

Positive thinking often starts with self-talk. Self-talk is the endless stream of unspoken thoughts that run through your head. These automatic thoughts can be positive or negative. Some of your self-talk comes from logic and reason. Other self-talk may arise from misconceptions that you create because of lack of information.

If the thoughts that run through your head are mostly negative, your outlook on life is more likely pessimistic. If your thoughts are mostly positive, you're likely an optimist — someone who practices positive thinking.

The health benefits of positive thinking

Researchers continue to explore the effects of positive thinking and optimism on health. Health benefits that positive thinking may provide include:

• Increased life span
• Lower rates of depression
• Lower levels of distress
• Greater resistance to the common cold
• Better psychological and physical well-being
• Reduced risk of death from cardiovascular disease
• Better coping skills during hardships and times of stress

It's unclear why people who engage in positive thinking experience these health benefits. One theory is that having a positive outlook enables you to cope better with stressful situations, which reduces the harmful health effects of stress on your body. It's also thought that positive and optimistic people tend to live healthier lifestyles — they get more physical activity, follow a healthier diet, and don't smoke or drink alcohol in excess.

Source:mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/positive-thinking/art-20043950

The Mind Exercises That Can Help You Stay Slim

Every year we spend millions on diets and gym membership, but obesity specialists increasingly believe the problem doesn’t lie in what we eat or how much exercise we take, but how we think.

‘There is a non-stop communication between your mind and body, but the mind is the most important because it drives your behaviour,’ says nutrition and exercise specialist Janet Thomson, author of Think More, Eat Less.

She is convinced we become overweight as a result of confused messages from the brain sabotaging our attempts to slim

So, if we have been told we are ‘well-built’ or ‘chubby’ or that ‘dieting is a waste of time’, the messages can stick. Without even realising, our emotional link with food can become toxic and we will no longer eat only when hungry and stop when full.

However, she maintains this can be changed and has devised a programme of mind exercises that she believes can boost our chances of getting, and staying, slim.

• THINK about how you will look and feel a month after you have achieved your weight- loss goal — slim and healthy. Now, visualise yourself three months after that and six months later. Commit to spending one minute just before you go to sleep each night and one minute when you wake each morning (while you are in a sleepy, trance-like state) visualising yourself like this. Creating powerful positive emotions helps generate faith in your ability to succeed.
• WRITE down exactly what you want to achieve — to be comfortable in size 12 jeans? To run a marathon? — and what you are prepared to do to get there — ‘I will eat less’ or ‘I will stick to a training regime’. Read this mission statement out loud twice a day.
• IDENTIFY the thoughts and behaviour that may have kept you from achieving your goals in the past. Make a list of all the things that could have been making you fat (too many takeaways, too much wine), then write a list of alternative behaviours that you intend to do instead (planning meals, drinking alcohol only at weekends).
• KEEP a food diary: write down everything that passes your lips. Studies show that even if you don’t consciously restrict your food intake, a diary makes you more conscious of what you eat. Being aware is a step forward.
• SPEND time with like-minded people who have already achieved or have similar goals. Who you spend time with directly affects your attitude because your unconscious mind  will be continually processing their shared experiences as well as your own.
• FOLLOW two simple eating rules: never use food as a reward or treat — eat only because your body needs fuel, then give it the best quality fuel possible. Never ban yourself from eating something. This will only make you want it more.

Source:dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2108360/Yes-CAN-think-thinner-.html#ixzz4CzWU7xzr

Meditate First Thing In The Morning

For the best results, meditate every day, first thing in the morning. And you can start with just five minutes.

Research has yet to pinpoint the magic time requirement to see these brain changes and improve mental health outcomes. But Ward says ideally you should try to do it every day for 10-12 minutes. Four to fives times per week is great too, if you really can’t get to seven. The key is to be consistent.

“A lot of my clients are athletes, so I equate it with going to the gym,” she explains. “You’re not going to get fit working out one day a week; it needs to be several times a week. We’re changing mental muscles in your brain, and it takes repetition and consistency for those changes to occur.” If you’ve never meditated before, start with just five minutes. “For many people, that’s going to seem like an eternity,” she says. Get used to concentrating on your breath and stopping your mind when it wanders, and once that five minutes is flying by, increase your time.

“There’s big power in a group practice,” Richmond notes, which is why they offer Surdashan Kriya classes in most major cities around the country. But if you prefer doing it on your own most days, that’s fine too. You have to find what works best for you.

If you want a little more guidance or structure, try a mindfulness app. You can also meditate in some less traditional ways: Take a meditative yoga class, or spend time digging in your garden. Whatever lets you focus, breathe, and be present in the moment. “But definitely not TV,” Ward warns.

Finally, for best results, Ward recommends a morning meditation. “Sleep is a very different brain pattern than meditation,” she explains. “So you want to do it first thing when you wake up.” You can even practice while you’re still lying in bed. It’s the best way to start your day with a peaceful, centered mindset—a mental state we should all strive to be in.

Here is my previous post on how to meditate See It Here

Source:self.com/wellness/2016/03/heres-why-meditation-is-so-amazing-for-your-mental-health/

Think Yourself Younger

ERASE THE YEARS

When we do young things; laughing, dancing and having sex, we send a message to our bodies that we are young and this slows down how we age. The younger you feel and act the more you lower your biological age. Our bodies get older on their own timetable. A runner aged 40 may have the heart and lungs of a 25 year old but the knees of a 55 year old. Your birth certificate age is the least important. How old you feel and act are far more important if you want to grow older without growing old.

In 2010 Harvard psychologist Dr Ellen Langer took a group of celebrities to a retreat for a BBC programme. It was furnished from 1980 – all the magazines, radio shows and TV programmes were from the 80s, and each person wore a badge of a photo of themselves from then. Before starting, the group underwent tests to determine their age including grip, vision, hearing, balance, hormones,muscle strength, and so on. They all spent a week living as if it was 30 years earlier. Everything going on around them was engineered to enable them to act as they had 30 years ago, subconsciously tricking themselves to believe they were younger. After seven days, they took the same tests again… and all had reversed their age by a minimum of between seven and ten years, and had a new lease of life. When asked to describe what had happened they reported forgetting they were older and as a result they physically grew younger.

These experiments prove that your beliefs determine how you age. If you think and act old, you grow old prematurely, whereas when you think and act younger, you remain younger physically and mentally. That’s why people like Cliff Richard and Keith Richards have aged in a rather unique way, because they are singers, dancing on stage and doing something youthful for a living they are seen as eternally young. Cliff Richards is called Peter Pan and Keith who should have aged terribly because of his abusive lifestyle proves that doing young things and thinking young thoughts is powerful enough to overcome the ageing effect of bad habits. Women who are very girly like Lulu and Goldie Hawn grow older differently because giggling, laughing and doing younger things keeps you younger. Girly thoughts and actions make you stay more girly.

Nelson Mandella spent 30 years in jail with no access to good food or vitamins yet his passion for life kept him youthful alert and full of life. People in Japan with a different expectation of ageing age differently as do people who love exercise, embrace new technology and have an active life – they stay young for longer. Have you noticed those people who seem to love exercise, embrace new technology, love being with younger people and have an active social life are the people who tend to look young, vibrant and happy? That’s not acoincidence; it’s because they are doing the things they did when young. They get the added benefit of looking younger because that’s the way they feel (not the other way round).

If you don’t want to grow old badly don’t use ageing language. Don’t say “I’m too old to wear that,” or “I can’t do that at my age.” Instead of saying “I look old”, which is seen by the mind as permanent, change it to “I look tired.” Your mind accepts that tired is temporary and after sleep you’ll look younger. Using words like knackered, past it, gaga, at my time of life and at my age cause yourmind to accept that ageing and deteriorating are inevitable when that does not have to be the case. If you want to be part of the new old age, use words like youthful, vibrant, full of life and vitality. Your mind believes everything you tell it and acts on those words so if you say “I forgot, it must be my age,” or “I am so cranky and tired I cant stay up late at my age,” you are allowing yourself to believe it is beyond your influence, which is not true. Instead, remember that children forget things all the time and babies are cranky without enough sleep; it’s not your age so don’t attribute negative behaviours to your years. Changing the words you use to describe yourself changes how you look and feel.

Source: naturalhealthmagazine.co.uk/anti-ageing/think-yourself-younger

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Do You Talk Yourself Out of Weight Loss?

Diet and exercise and they way we talk to ourselves has always been a passion of mine and over the years I have spoke at length to people about the struggles they face of trying to lose weight.

One thing that always seems to be noticeable is the way in which people talk to themselves.

The word I hear far too often is 'can't'.

"No matter how hard I try, I can't lose weight"

"I exercise all the time but still can't shift the weight"

"I've tried every diet going and still can't get my weight down"

I'm the first to admit that I WAS your typical negative person. My mum is a born pessimist and this trait was kindly handed down to me from a young age. However, something clicked in me one day and I vowed to change the way I think. Over the years I have read every book about changing my thoughts, listened to cassette tapes (yes it was that long ago), CD's and any information I could.

It has taken time and I am not saying that I am the most optimistic person around, but I have learnt to talk to myself in a much kinder tone.

Constantly telling yourself you can't do something is a sure fire way for your brain to find a way to prove you right. You are what you think. 

If you are trying to lose weight (or anything for that matter), try talking to yourself differently. If you find yourself wanting to use the word can't or say anything negative, STOP. Change the way you talk to yourself. Talk as if whatever you want to achieve is possible. 

Whilst talking in a more positive way will help in your every day life, if you have something specific you wish to achieve then you have to feel it too.

Every morning and/or evening you need to close your eyes and visualise yourself achieving your goal. I do this in bed. See a picture of yourself as you wish to be. This could be more confident, slimmer, fitter, healthier - anything you like. Really take the time to notice everything about yourself that you would like to change. Next take this person and float them into your own body, feel the emotions you would feel as if this dream had come true. Experience the exact feelings you would get if your goal was real and you had achieved what you set out to do.

Whilst you can tell yourself everyday that "i will lose weight" or "I feel more confident". The only real way to fully achieve these things is to know how you would feel on the inside at having mastered your goal.

I myself use a piece of software every day that quietly works away in the back ground of my computer whilst I'm working, reinforcing positive affirmations to my sub conscious mind.

                                    Take a look for yourself. You won't be disappointed!

"Forest Bathing" is a thing.

Walking or sitting in nature, aka Shinrin-yoku, started in Japan but is spreading like (dare we say it) wildfire to US wellness spas. Here's why you shouldn't wait for a trip to Sedona to try it.

It's great for your heart. A few hours in nature lowers blood pressure—and the stress hormones cortisol and adrenaline.

It soothes your brain. Being in greenery decreased anxiety, depression, anger, and fatigue for adults in one study. Other research shows that kids with ADHD who spend time in natural outdoor environments have a reduction in symptoms.

It speeds recovery. People in the hospital given green views after surgery had shorter stays, took fewer painkillers, and had fewer complications than those who stared out at a cement wall.

It beefs up immunity. When you inhale fresh forest air, you breathe in phytoncides, plant chemicals that have antibacterial and antifungal qualities and increase the immune system's disease-fighting natural killer cells.













Source:prevention.com/health/health-breakthroughs-that-will-change-your-life

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Mother Claims Giggling Has Cured Her Asthma and Depression

• Lynette Webbe, 59, suffered asthma and chronic obstructive pulmonary disease for 6 years as she smoked since the age of 13
• Also suffered depression since she was a teenager after losing her parents, and began laughter classes as a natural treatment
• Enjoyed the laughter therapy so much she trained to hold her own classes
• After a year she claims her doctors said her respiratory problems are much better, and wants other people to be referred for laughter therapy

A mother claims to have cured her lifelong asthma and depression by laughing.

Lynette Webbe, 59, suffered with the respiratory condition for six years before she started holding laughter therapy classes.

A year on, and she said her doctor has noticed a huge difference in her condition – and thinks the NHS should refer other patients to her classes.

She also says the classes, which involve giggling, storytelling, dancing and childsplay have helped her overcome depression.

Miss Webbe, from Pill in Wales, said: 'I went for a check-up recently and was told that my health was much better and I believe laughter is the reason.

'It opens up the lungs, so I can breathe more easily, and gets endorphins pumping around the body.

'Physically I feel much better and leave my classes feeling amazing.

'I see my classes as a fun way of shaking off the cobwebs. Laughter is like a medicine that doctors can't provide.

'I think it's important to laugh and play.

'It's good for stress as well and if you can get rid of that and anxiety, you can prevent bad mental health too.

'I'd really like doctors to start referring patients to me to treat.'

Miss Webbe said she started her laughter therapy classes as she herself suffered from mental health problems herself.

She said: 'After years of mixing with the wrong crowd as a teenager, then losing my parents and my sister, I got so depressed I started to drink and self-medicate.

'I think it's important to laugh and play.

'It's good for stress as well and if you can get rid of that and anxiety, you can prevent bad mental health too.

'I'd really like doctors to start referring patients to me to treat.'

Miss Webbe said she started her laughter therapy classes as she herself suffered from mental health problems herself.

She said: 'After years of mixing with the wrong crowd as a teenager, then losing my parents and my sister, I got so depressed I started to drink and self-medicate.

'People come and make each other laugh. When we run out of jokes I tell everyone to start fake laughter.

'Basically, fake it until you make it, but you do laugh and this makes you feel better.

'I believe my workshops make people feel amazing. I've been working with people with Alzheimer's and after a class everyone was happy and smiling.

'We dance at my classes so people get some exercise.

'Everyone tells stories, which make them realise we've all got problems and things can get better.

'I share my story as I think this helps people feel they can share. 

'People leave feeling less alone. My workshops gave me a reason to get up and go out. 

'Now they're giving others one too.'

Source:dailymail.co.uk/health/article-3152104/Doctors-refer-patients-LAUGHTER-classes-says-mother-claims-giggling-cured-asthma-depression.html#ixzz3fDUHnH89 

Happiness

Myths and Facts About Happiness

There are a lot of myths out there about what will make you happy. So before we embark on a tour of the strategies that do work for boosting happiness, let’s dispense with the things that don’t.

Myth: Money will make you happy.

Fact: It’s stressful when you’re worried about money. In order to be happy, you do need enough of it to cover your basic needs: things like food, shelter, and clothing. But once you have enough money to be comfortable, getting more money isn’t going to make much of a difference in how happy you are. For example, studies of lottery winners show that after a relatively short period of time, they are no more happy than they were before their win.

Myth: You need a relationship in order to be happy.

Fact: Being in a healthy, supportive love relationship does contribute to happiness, but it’s not true that you can’t be happy and fulfilled if you’re single. Indeed, singles who have meaningful friendships and pursuits are happier than people in mismatched romantic relationships. It’s also important to note that even a good marriage or romantic partnership doesn’t lead to a permanent, intense happiness boost. Expecting your partner to deliver your happily-ever-after may actually harm the relationship in the long-run. You—not your partner or your family members—are responsible for your own happiness.

Myth: Happiness declines with age.

Fact: Contrary to popular belief, people tend to get happier with age. Study after study confirms that seniors experience more positive emotions and fewer (and less intense) negative emotions than young people and middle-aged adults. As a whole, older adults are also more satisfied with their lives, less sensitive to stress, and more emotionally stable. Even with the losses that come with age, it is the happiest time of life for many people.

Myth: Some people are just happier than others and there’s nothing you can do to change that.

Fact: Genetics do play a role in happiness. Current research suggests that people are born with a certain happiness “set point.” But that only accounts for about half of our happiness level. Another 10% is due to life circumstances. That leaves 40% that is determined by your actions and choices. That’s a lot of control!

Source:helpguide.org/articles/emotional-health/cultivating-happiness.htm

Could YOGURT Help Beat Depression?

Probiotics 'reduce the negative thoughts that can spiral into mental illness'

• Those who took probiotic supplements were less prone to rumination
• Rumination is the type of obsessive thinking that can turn into depression
• The probiotics - found in live yogurt - were taken as a supplement

Boosting the friendly bacteria in our gut could help our minds too, according to a study.

Researchers found that adding the types of probiotics found in live yogurt to our diets could help lower the risk of depression by reducing negative thoughts.

The scientists, from Leiden University in the Netherlands, said those who took the supplements for four weeks were significantly less reactive to sad moods than those who took a dummy supplement.

They were far less prone to rumination - the type of obsessive thinking that can turn into depression - and had fewer aggressive thoughts.

‘Studies have shown that the tendency to engage in ruminative thoughts is sufficient to turn mood fluctuations into depressive episodes, and that individuals who typically respond to low mood by ruminating about possible causes and consequences of their state have more difficulties in recovering from depression,’ the researchers wrote in the journal Brain, Behaviour and Immunity.

‘The present results indicate, for the first time, that probiotics intervention can influence cognitive mechanisms that are known to determine vulnerability to mood disorders.’

They concluded: ‘These results provide the first evidence that the intake of probiotics may help reduce negative thoughts associated with sad mood.

‘Probiotics supplementation warrants further research as a potential preventive strategy for depression.’

For the study, the researchers recruited 40 healthy men and women and randomly divided them into two groups of 20.

Those in the first group were given sachets of a probiotic powder containing Lactobacillus, Lactococcus and Bifidobacterium strains to take every day for four weeks, while the others were given sachets of a placebo.

Both powders were identical in colour, taste and smell - the only difference was that the placebo powder contained no bacteria.

At the beginning of the study and at the end of the four weeks, all of the men and women filled out a detailed questionnaire which psychologists use to assess a person’s susceptibility to depression.

‘Compared to participants who received the placebo intervention, participants who received the 4-week multispecies probiotics intervention showed a significantly reduced overall cognitive reactivity to sad mood, which was largely accounted for by reduced rumination and aggressive thoughts,’ the researchers said.

Although this study was not testing specific biological mechanisms that could underlie probiotics’ effects on the brain, previous research has found that gut bacteria can affect our levels of tryptophan, an amino acid that the body uses to produce serotonin. 

It’s thought that an imbalance of serotonin can contribute to depression.

Source:dailymail.co.uk/health/article-3048911/Could-YOGURT-help-beat-depression-Probiotics-reduce-negative-thoughts-spiral-mental-illness.html

Why do relaxation exercises?

Muscular relaxation exercises and deep breathing are two common techniques to help people to relax and combat symptoms of anxiety. They may also help to ease symptoms of depression.

Why do relaxation exercises?

Some people relax with sport, exercise, listening to music, watching TV, reading a book, etc. However, some people find it helpful to follow specific relaxation exercises. This leaflet gives a summary of two commonly used routines - muscular relaxing exercises, and deep breathing exercises. These two techniques are particularly useful to combat the two common physical symptoms of anxiety - muscular tension and over-breathing. There is some evidence that they may also help to ease symptoms of depression.

Like anything else, you need to practise these at first. However, hopefully, you can then use them in everyday life whenever you feel tense or anxious.

Planned times for regular positive relaxation

Find a quiet warm place where you won't be disturbed. Choose a time of day when you do not feel pressured to do anything else. Lie down on your back, or sit in a well-supported chair if you are not able to lie down. Try to get comfortable and close your eyes. Perhaps lie on a firm bed of some cushions. The routine then is to work on each of your muscle groups. With each group of muscles, firstly tense the muscles as much as you can, then relax them fully. Breathe in when you tense the muscles, and breathe out when you relax.

To start with, concentrate on your breathing for a few minutes. Breathe slowly and calmly. Each time you breathe out say words to yourself such as 'peace' or 'relax'. Then start the muscle exercises, working around the different muscle groups in your body.

• Hands - clench one hand tightly for a few seconds as you breathe in. You should feel your forearm muscles tense; then relax as you breathe out. Repeat with the other hand.
• Arms - bend an elbow and tense all the muscles in the arm for a few seconds as you breathe in; then relax as you breathe out. Repeat the same with the other arm.
• Neck - press your head back as hard as is comfortable and roll it slowly from from side to side; then relax.
• Face - try to frown and lower your eyebrows as hard as you can for a few seconds; then relax. Then raise your eyebrows (as if you were startled) as hard as you can; then relax. Then clench your jaw for a few seconds; then relax.
• Chest - take a deep breath and hold it for a few seconds; then relax and go back to normal breathing.
• Stomach - tense the stomach muscles as tightly as possible; then relax.
• Buttocks - squeeze the buttocks together as much as possible; then relax.
• Legs - with your legs flat on the floor, bend your feet and toes towards your face as hard as you can; then relax. Then bend them away from your face for a few seconds; then relax.

Then repeat the whole routine 3-4 times. Each time you relax a group of muscles, note the difference of how they feel when relaxed compared to when they are tense. Some people find it eases their general level of 'tension' if they get into a daily routine of doing these exercises.

Everyday life

Obviously, you cannot do all the above when 'out and about'. However, the principle of full tension followed by relaxation of a group of muscles can help to ease anxiety in everyday situations. Therefore, in situations when you feel tension or anxiety rising, try either of the following:

• Twisting your neck around each way as far as it is comfortable; then relax.
• Fully tensing your shoulder and back muscles for several seconds; then relax.

Music for a Healthy Mind and Body

Patients having an MRI (magnetic resonance imaging) test must lie very still for 30 to 60 minutes, often enclosed inside the machine's tube. Because of that, the most valuable piece of equipment in MRI testing often isn't the multimillion-dollar scanner. It's something that costs far less—the headphones that many centers put on patients so they can listen to their favorite type of music while undergoing the test.

That music makes time seem to pass more quickly and enjoyably. It also serves an important health function by lowering stress and reducing anxiety.

Music can deliver psychological and physical benefits in a wide range of medical uses and health conditions. A study released in August 2009 looked at open-heart surgery patients who listened to music on the day after their surgery. Those patients experienced increased relaxation levels as well as higher levels of the neurotransmitter oxytocin, a hormone related to feelings of bonding and comfort.

Listening to or performing instrumental music, as well as singing (individually or communally in a choir), can reduce blood pressure, lessen pain and anxiety, ease stress and may help keep cognition sharp—all at low cost and without adding medication. Singing was found to have such a positive effect on the depression that often follows knee surgery that one group of Italian researchers advocated music therapy over drug intervention for such patients.

Whether you play an instrument or not, you can benefit from the power of music to help heal. Sing out loud by yourself at home or in a community group, take a music player along when you go for any medical test or procedure and remember to turn on your favorite tunes when stress intensifies.

Just 30 minutes of what researchers call "music intervention" is often enough to reduce anxiety and increase relaxation. Your body and spirit will feel the difference.

Source:healthywomen.org/content/article/music-healthy-mind-and-body?context=ages-and-stages/15&context_title=

How To Chill Out

​Psychotherapist Maxine Harley says slow down your breathing to slow down your mind… 

We cannot simply ‘think’ our way out of a heightened emotional state. The only way to reduce your anxiety levels at the outset is to change your physiology. The first step is with the breath:

• Slowing down your breathing and extending the outgoing breath activates the parasympathetic nervous system which is our body’s natural ‘soother’. When we have slowed down the breath and released the tension in our body we can then refocus our attention and awareness and give our brain a reprieve from the incessant ruminating on things, and the draining mind-chatter/head-heckling that we do to ourselves.

• Eat well, with plenty of good proteins which provide the amino-acid building blocks for our brain chemicals and neurotransmitters. The body has its own natural ‘tranquiliser’ in the form of GABA (gamma-aminobutyric acid) – which is also available to buy as a supplement.

Source: naturalhealthmagazine.co.uk/post/how-to-chill-out

Self-esteem: Take steps to feel better about yourself

If you have low self-esteem, harness the power of your own thoughts and beliefs to change how you feel about yourself. Start with these four steps to a healthier self-esteem.

Low self-esteem can negatively affect virtually every facet of your life, including your relationships, your job and your health. But you can take steps to boost your self-esteem by taking cues from types of mental health counseling.

Consider these steps, based on cognitive behavioral therapy:

1. Identify troubling conditions or situations

Think about the conditions or situations that seem to deflate your self-esteem. Common triggers might include:

• A work or school presentation
• A crisis at work or home
• A challenge with a spouse, loved one, co-worker or other close contact
• A change in roles or life circumstances, such as a job loss or a child leaving home

2. Become aware of thoughts and beliefs

Once you've identified troubling situations, pay attention to your thoughts about them. This includes your self-talk — what you tell yourself — and your interpretation of what the situation means. Your thoughts and beliefs might be positive, negative or neutral. They might be rational, based on reason or facts, or irrational, based on false ideas.

3. Challenge negative or inaccurate thinking

Your initial thoughts might not be the only possible way to view a situation — so test the accuracy of your thoughts. Ask yourself whether your view is consistent with facts and logic or whether other explanations for the situation might be plausible.

Be aware that it can be hard to recognize inaccuracies in thinking. Long-held thoughts and beliefs can feel normal and factual, even though many are just opinions or perceptions.

Also pay attention to thought patterns that erode self-esteem:

• All-or-nothing thinking. You see things as either all good or all bad. For example, "If I don't succeed in this task, I'm a total failure."
• Mental filtering. You see only negatives and dwell on them, distorting your view of a person or situation. For example, "I made a mistake on that report and now everyone will realize I'm not up to this job."
• Converting positives into negatives. You reject your achievements and other positive experiences by insisting that they don't count. For example, "I only did well on that test because it was so easy."
• Jumping to negative conclusions. You reach a negative conclusion when little or no evidence supports it. For example, "My friend hasn't replied to my email, so I must have done something to make her angry."
• Mistaking feelings for facts. You confuse feelings or beliefs with facts. For example, "I feel like a failure, so I must be a failure."
• Negative self-talk. You undervalue yourself, put yourself down or use self-deprecating humor. This can result from overreacting to a situation, such as making a mistake. For example, "I don't deserve anything better."

4. Adjust your thoughts and beliefs

Now replace negative or inaccurate thoughts with accurate, constructive thoughts. Try these strategies:

• Use hopeful statements. Treat yourself with kindness and encouragement. Pessimism can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. For example, if you think your presentation isn't going to go well, you might indeed stumble through it. Try telling yourself things such as, "Even though it's tough, I can handle this situation."
• Forgive yourself. Everyone makes mistakes — and mistakes aren't permanent reflections on you as a person. They're isolated moments in time. Tell yourself, "I made a mistake, but that doesn't make me a bad person."
• Avoid 'should' and 'must' statements. If you find that your thoughts are full of these words, you might be putting unreasonable demands on yourself — or on others. Removing these words from your thoughts can lead to more realistic expectations.
• Focus on the positive. Think about the good parts of your life. Remind yourself of things that have gone well recently. Consider the skills you've used to cope with challenging situations.
• Relabel upsetting thoughts. You don't need to react negatively to negative thoughts. Instead, think of negative thoughts as signals to try new, healthy patterns. Ask yourself, "What can I think and do to make this less stressful?"
• Encourage yourself. Give yourself credit for making positive changes. For example, "My presentation might not have been perfect, but my colleagues asked questions and remained engaged — which means that I accomplished my goal."

You might also try these steps, based on acceptance and commitment therapy:

1. Identify troubling conditions or situations

Again, think about the conditions or situations that seem to deflate your self-esteem. Once you've identified troubling situations, pay attention to your thoughts about them.

2. Step back from your thoughts

Repeat your negative thoughts many times or write them down in an unusual way, such as with your nondominant hand. Imagine seeing your negative thoughts written on different objects. You might even sing a song about them in your mind.

These exercises can help you take a step back from your thoughts and beliefs and observe them. Instead of trying to change your thoughts, distance yourself from your thoughts. Realize that they are nothing more or less than words.

3. Accept your thoughts

Instead of fighting, resisting or being overwhelmed by negative thoughts or feelings, accept them. You don't have to like them, just allow yourself to feel them.

Negative thoughts don't need to be controlled, changed or acted upon. Aim to lessen the power of your negative thoughts and their influence on your behavior.

These steps might seem awkward at first, but they'll get easier with practice. As you begin to recognize the thoughts and beliefs that are contributing to your low self-esteem, you can counter them or change the way you think about them. This will help you accept your value as a person. As your self-esteem increases, your confidence and sense of well-being are likely to soar.

Source: mayoclinic.org/healthy-living/adult-health/in-depth/self-esteem/art-20045374?pg=1